Marrying Gordon is the best thing I ever did ...

It's amazing how one's perspective can change.  I used to advise all the women I know that marriage is a terrible thing for women.  And all along it was just that a bad marriage is a terrible thing for a woman.

I always said that your husband will expect you to work at least as much as he does, if you don't make as much money as he does he'll complain, he won't share his income with his family, he'll expect you to do all the housework, all the yard work, all the child care, and all the errands, and then on top of that he'll expect you to want to have sex with him!

Well,  it turns out that it's just a matter of gaining some maturity and finding the right husband.

I work a lot, but I feel lazy when I compare my work ethic to Gordon's.  My income can't even compare to his, but he always stresses what an important contribution I make to our family, and we put all of our income together for the benefit of our family.  I know that he does more than his share of the household chores, although he insists that I do more.  There's no longer any battle in my home about the division of housework, yard work, child care, and errands.  We each do what we're best at, we do everything that we can to benefit our family, and we appreciate each other and each other's contributions.  This is what marriage is supposed to be.

And as far as the sex goes, well, I'm not one to kiss and tell ... but wow!!!

I hope all my young women friends can benefit from my experience by skipping the "starter marriage" and waiting for that incredible man who treats them like a queen because he does exist ... I promise ...

It's been a long time since I've updated and so much has happened, but I'll just skip to the most important part.  Gordon and I were married on Friday, May 12th.

It was the most perfect evening you could imagine.  The weather was beautiful, the food was great, and the company was excellent.  We had a very small wedding at Gordon's parents' home.  The guests were our parents, our siblings with their spouses and kids, our kids, two special family friends, and Chris C., our Inferno friend who happens to be an ordained minister who married us.

Both families seemed to really enjoy getting to know each other.  I'm really glad about that because when you marry someone you also marry their family, so if everyone likes each other that makes the marriage and the family unit much stronger.

Gordon's oldest daughter, Madison, and my J.R. helped us by holding the rings to present when called for in the ceremony.  Chris kept the ceremony very short and simple as we requested.  Gordon's mom had supervised the decorating and furniture arrangement, and I had ordered three simple flower arrangements.  I just told the florist to use lots of pink flowers, accents of cream flowers, use flowers that smelled good if possible, and use their imaginations.  They did a beautiful job.

Gordon looked gorgeous in a light tan linen suit, white Oxford shirt, and pink tie.  My dress was a sleeveless cream color lace with a sort of metallic thread woven through it with a sheer floral print overblouse that also had pink in the pattern.  And he liked my shoes!  If his sisters are reading this, they'll appreciate that

We had lots of contributions to the spread.  We (and by we I mean Gordon) cooked Puerto Rican style pork shoulder, his mom cooked salmon, my mom brought fruit salad, and Gordon's precious sisters ordered the wedding cake for us and decorated it themselves with fresh flowers.  The cake was so beautiful and elegant (and very tasty).  The whole event was like a really festive, special family get-together with a wedding performed in the middle.

I think the smartest thing we did was not having a set time for the ceremony.  We told the guests to arrive anytime after 6:00 and we planned to have the ceremony whenever the weather cooled a little so it would be comfortable to go outside.  That was perfect because nothing was rushed.  There was plenty of time to enjoy the good food, drink, and company.

I still can't believe how lucky I am.  I waited 40 years to meet this amazing man and 41 years to become his wife.  He was so worth the wait.  I'm so proud to be Mrs. Gordon Rives and I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us.

Just got back from a week-long vacation in Big Bend with my former family-in-law, who will always be my family in my heart.  Every 3 years my ex-husband's mom and dad plan a big family trip for everyone, all expenses paid.  There were 16 of us total.  What a great time, except that I was missing my sweetie every minute.

Monday we hiked into Boquillas Canyon and climbed this giant sand dune that gets formed against the canyon wall.  Then we hiked to Cattail Falls.  It has amazing scenery and there's a really cool tree along the way that has a big branch that grows horizontally where we took a picture of all the kids last time we were there in 1997, so we took a picture this time with them all sitting in the same places on the tree.

Tuesday we did the Lost Mine Trail hike.  Back in 1988 when we were there I thought it sounded a little too strenuous for me so I stayed at the cabins with the kids.  I didn't do it in 1997 either.  But this year it sounded like too much fun to miss.  It's a 4.8-mile round trip, very steep, but so worth the work!!!  The views are incomparable.

Wednesday through Friday we spent canoeing through Santa Elena canyon and camping there at night.  Now, understand that I along with many in our group signed up to raft through the canyon -- you know, those big blown-up rafts that a guide paddles for you.  Unfortunately the river level was too low for rafts, so we all had to canoe.  In the interest of full disclosure I reminded everyone that "I can't row a canoe."  J.R. and I did pretty well, though, I have to say.  We were both novices and the first day we yelled at each other and did a lot of spinning in circles for no apparent reason.  The second day we improved a lot, and by the third day our canoe went where we wanted it to go without any unexplained 360s.  The guide who was our trip leader told us that he had expected us to be the ones to "tump" in the river, but haaaa, we didn't!!!  Three canoes in our group did flip during the trip, however.  It was really cool how J.R. and I went from arguing on Day 1 to figuring out how to properly maneuver the craft with the least energy possible by Day 3. 

I wouldn't do a canoe trip like that again.  It was fun, but frankly it was a lot of work and I'm just not strong enough.  I am glad, though, that we did it and made it through without flipping into the river.  One of the rules the guides told us was to not lose our sense of humor, and I can pretty much guarantee that if I'd tumped into the river my sense of humor would have floated downstream .

It's funny how your attitude does change.  I started out the trip telling them that I didn't want to get wet, and very soon I was standing in the middle of the river pulling our canoe out of the rocks we got beached on or helping get boats landed.  The second night I took a "bath" in the river with my Bath & Body Works raspberry shower gel.  Most refreshing, I must say ...

Aside from the rowing you could hardly have called this kind of camping "roughing it."  The guides cooked gourmet meals for us for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, complete with wine and candles at dinner.  Both nights at dusk we got to see the bats flying through the canyon.  We had air pads to sleep on in our tents and gentle breezes and the sound of the river and the light of the moon and stars to help us to sleep.  If you like to camp at all, you just can't beat this experience.

It was great to spend the week with such special people.  I'm really fortunate that they all still consider me family.  I know it's hard for other folks to understand what these people mean to me, but for me the old adage simply doesn't hold true -- blood isn't thicker than water.  The people that you come to love are your family for life.

The only thing that would have improved the trip would be to have Gordon there.  I never want to spend a week apart again.